


Quick Oil Check

by TheHylianBatman



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 02:40:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4246344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHylianBatman/pseuds/TheHylianBatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill shows up in a new host body, and, despite Dipper insisting they're not a thing anymore, decides they are and does things anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quick Oil Check

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tart/gifts).



 

 

Dipper was sitting at his desk in the attic of the Mystery Shack, reading some forgotten book. He was home alone; Grunkle Stan had long since moved on (to California, he had said), and Mabel was out of the house doing a... Mabel thing. Probably fangirling about something.

 

Suddenly, Dipper heard a noise; a very loud banging, almost like a door being slammed open.

 

  
It probably sounded like that because it  _was_ a door being slammed open.

 

Dipper was concerned for a split second -was someone breaking in?!- until he heard an unknown voice call out a very special nickname.

 

"HEY, PINE TREE, YA BUSY?!"

 

  
Dipper groaned and rolled his eyes. His guest was none other than Bill Cipher, his on-again/off-again significant other.

 

  
Most of the time, it was off-again. Primarily because Bill was completely  _batshit_ **_insane_ ** .

 

Dipper slammed the book shut on the desk, stood up, and marched downstairs.

 

"Bill! You can't just march in here an-"

 

Dipper's chidings were interrupted by Bill's mouth smashing into his; his boyfriend (and sometimes girlfriend) had apparently decided that they were on-again.

 

Bill pulled back after a few seconds of locked lips and closed eyes, and just stared as Dipper panted.

 

"And... what was that for?"

 

Bill's new body smiled before simply responding, "JUST GETTIN' YA WARMED UP, KID!"

 

  
Dipper looked over Bill's new body. Male, lean. Not particularly muscly, but Dipper wasn't into muscly men, so that wasn't a problem. A round face with kind brown eyes. Surprisingly enough, this host's hair was brown.  _Strange_ , thought Dipper,  _Bill normally has a penchant for blonds. Maybe he'll dye it._

 

"Bill, we're not a... thing anymore." Dipper said hesitantly.

 

"OH, PLEASE, PINE TREE! YOU'D BE LOST WITHOUT ME!"

 

"Bill, I-"

 

Dipper was interrupted as his boyfriend grabbed his face and pulled it to his, locking him in another kiss. This one was rougher, sloppier, and wetter.

 

It also lasted a significantly longer time; at least a minute. Dipper was certain that he had felt the other's tongue in his mouth, but he was so lost in the kiss, he couldn't be bother to care.

 

As Bill pulled away the second time, Dipper found himself practically begging for more; his eyes were closed and his mouth was caught open, rather like a fish's.

 

As Dipper opened his eyes, he simply saw his boyfriend grinning like a maniac at him.

 

"WHADDYA SAY, KID? WANNA MOVE THIS TO MORE PRIVATE QUARTERS?"

 

Dipper just kinda nodded, not really hearing the words or caring about them.

 

Bill grasped his hand and practically dragged Dipper into Grunkle Stan's old room, the room that had since become Dipper's.

 

"NOW, KID, I GOTTA WARN YA, I HAVEN'T CLEANED THIS MEATSACK YET, SO YOU IN ME IS OUT."

 

Dipper just plunked down on the bed, staring at his boyfriend.

 

"I DON'T KNOW THE LAST TIME YOU CLEANED YOURSELF, OR IF YOU HAVE ANY CONDOMS, SO ME IN YOU IS OUT. THAT LEAVES MOUTH-TO-DICK, KIDDO."

 

"Alright, who first?"

 

Bill cackled.

 

"WHY'S THERE GOTTA BE A FIRST, KID?"

 

Dipper fully understood what Bill meant. I think we all understand what Bill meant, but in case you don't, he means a 69.

 

Dipper quickly pulled his clothing off of him, watching as Bill did the same.

 

Bill finished up first, leaving Dipper in his tented underwear.

 

"IS THAT A PINE TREE IN YOUR PANTS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME, KID?"

 

Dipper groaned and smacked a hand to his face.

 

"That was literally the worst pun ever."

 

Bill cackled again before shoving Dipper onto the bed, yanking his briefs off, and tossing them, leaving them both fully exposed to each other.

 

"HEY, KID, I WANNA SUCK YOUR DIPSTICK!" Bill joked as he climbed over his boyfriend, getting into position.

 

"Oh my God, Bill."

 

This was Bill's 18th host, 12th male. Dipper could remember the first time Bill had let him see his dick. It was a normal dick; normal length, width, and girth, and circumcised, but Dipper had just been entranced by it. It was beautiful.

 

The fifth dick had been uncircumcised. That was a field day and a half.

 

Anyways, as Bill's 12th dick hung over his boyfriend's face, Dipper was just as entranced by it as he had been by the first one, almost 2 years ago.

 

It's probably best not to ask how Bill went through 18 bodies in 2 years.

 

Bill wasted no time checking Dipper's oil, quickly lowering his mouth onto Dipper's perfectly average human dick.

 

Dipper closed his eyes and bucked his hips, enjoying the feeling for a second, before Bill rudely pulled his mouth off it and looked back.

 

"IT'S CALLED A 69, KID, NOT A 9 DOES ALL THE WORK WHILE 6 SITS THERE ON HIS FUCKABLE ASS."

 

Dipper reached up and engulfed Bill's also perfectly average human dick (thank God), prompting Bill to return to the same position.

 

They simply enjoyed it for a while; bobbing their head's along each other's length, feeling the heat of the other's mouth.

 

And then Bill decided to be Bill.

 

  
Bill shoved Dipper's cock as deep into his mouth as he could , taking him completely to the base, before deciding to bite down on Dipper's dick as hard as he could.

 

* * *

 

Terry Virts, an American astronaut aboard the International Space Station, was simply doing the daily work, when he thought he heard an inhuman scream of pain.

 

"Uh, Control, did you just hear that? Over."

 

"Yeah, Terry, we heard it. We don't have any idea what it was, but all our astronauts are okay, so we're just gonna keep working. Over."

 

"Roger that, Control. Over and out."

 

* * *

 

Bill was running through the house, avoiding the numerous things being thrown at him.

 

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?!"

 

Frying Pan #3. Should be the last one in the kitchen.

 

"PAIN IS HILARIOUS, KID! ESPECIALLY YOURS!"

 

Baseball bat. Where the Hell did he get that?

 

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

 

Suddenly, they both heard the sound of a squeaky door opening.

 

"Hey, Dipper, I didn't know if we had any milk, sooooooooo-"

 

  
Mabel trailed off, seeing two very angry and  _very_ naked men in her living room.

 

"...Bill?"

 

"NICE TO SEE YA, STAR!"

 

Mabel just rolled her eyes and proceeded to the kitchen.

 

"Dipper, please take it outside. And try not to break anything."

 

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Quick Oil Check  
> Work Code: THB0002  
> Primary Author: TheHylianBatman  
> Additional Author(s): N/A  
> Proofreader: TheHylianBatman  
> Written on: Tuesday, June 9th, 2015  
> Updated: Friday, July 10th, 2015  
> Version: 1.01


End file.
